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Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I am still waiting.

On my 28th year

...it's also the worst Christmas ever (so far?)

Christmas eve. I greet merry christmas to my friends with a smiley I dont resemble (family quarrel ongoing at that time).

Morning of Christmas day, my bestfriend of 15 years texted that her dad died.

I'm greeted happy birthdays, merry christmas, hope youre having a blast sort of happy txt msgs. I say thank you. Would want to add something, but Christmas isn't the perfect time to inform common friends that a mutual friend's dad died.

No noche buena.

No gifts.

No boyfriend visiting.

No celebration, actually.

And I'm asked, "hows your birthday/christmas?"

How do I respond to that? =/


less than a month before jlpt and i am no way ready @_@ i havent even seen lesson 41 yet. waah sometimes i wanna panic then i realize nobody's forcing me to pass this, or even take this...but still i am afraid to FAIL!

Sadness galore

But I'm way past the time when I could cry and people would ask me what's wrong and fix it for me.

When I was young, have I ever wished for time to pass more quickly so I could be a grown-up?

..and today

...I went to Japan Foundation to register for the JLPT Exam this December.

And I haven't reviewed for the longest time.
And I haven't studied a thing yet.

Pearlynne-san inspired me enough to take the step though. Ganbarimasho!


I've just realized that the reason why I'm afraid of commitments is because I'm afraid to be hurt.

I wanted the option to flee.

...and whatnot

Finished driving lessons but I can't say I can now manage to drive alone outside. Or anywhere for that matter -__-;

But daddy said he'll practice with me. I'm just apprehensive coz I don't like being asked if I REALLY took the lessons. And of course I don't want to damage our dinosaur car >.> Or I can enroll in further lessons. But that would mean money >.>;;;

Visited a highschool friend yesterday. Haven't been in their house for, ...4 years? She's one of those few friends that I may not see for years, but when I do, it's like just yesterday =) We watched a korean movie (apparently she's addicted to korean dramas/series). But before we did, we chatted for, ...an hour, or was it 2?

It was refreshing NOT to be asked "When are you going to get married?" So I'll come and visit her more often =)

Hoping to watch On Stranger Tides later <3

What shall I study next? Currently leaning towards something to do with computers....



Looks like my skin is getting better. Although it still gets oily especially when I wake up in the morning, there's been a significant decrease in the appearance of pimples. The marks are also fading...

And as a result I get comments like:

"You look blooming!"
"Pumuputi ka.."
"There's something different about you"
"May bago ka nang boyfriend?"

Banzai, banzai. Amusing, but very pleasing. Especially since I'm almost nearly obssessed on how to get clearer, healthy skin =D Not sure which product should get credit though, just careful not to mess it up. I suppose gentler skin products do the trick.


Further restricted my Facebook profile. Heard something recently that reminded me to be more careful...sigh...it is tiring though.

I sometimes think, What if the world ends in 2012? Then thoughts would lead to what I still want to do. Gets me moving to do stuff. Sometimes. Try stuff. Sometimes.


For the record, I have finished playing Plants vs Zombies. This is the first time I got involved, never got into  gameboys, Wii, playstations, family computer, not even to the machine that you have to insert coins to play. Well I played some, once or twice. But why didn't I pursue it?

Because I could get addicted =P

I enjoyed Plants vs zombies very much =) I even played for hours in the office (shhh.....). I would say to myself that there are more important things to do, more useful things to give my time to. But well....just to stress my point >.< @_@ =P


I'm one session away from finishing the driving course, and yet I know next to nothing. I don't blame my instructors (not saying they're the best either...). On one hand I only have the lessons once a week for 2 hours (and I've always been late - I VOW to NOT be late on the last session) with no practice afterwards. On the other...ok, I'm a bit slow-learner. Especially with how things work.

I still can't master how to tie a perfect ribbon. I know how to tie it, just not as prettily >.>

Come on, I wasn't expecting _myself_ to be good at manual driving in 10 hours.

But I'm trying =) I should've tried harder earlier I know - watching videos of how to's and keeping intsructions for reading again and again (that's how I learn).

It's frustrating how learning things seem to come easy to some-most but for me, it takes at least twice longer to get it.

But I still believe I'm lucky and blessed. I just have to remind myself of that whenever the insecurity pangs come.

Day 4

..of having senpai in the land of Oz. So far, so good. I should make my days worthwhile, or at least, occupied. So far, so good. Although I still have doubts if staying here is what I should do. I get surprised/disgusted at myself that in spite of having a list of things to do, I still tend to slack and procrastinate and do nonsense stuff (yeah like spending 2 hours looking up whats a good remedy for pimple blemishes).

Well, not too late though. Somehow Im still on track for this week's plans.

Project Initiation list
Wash clothes

Go other unit to get food and laundry
Clean fan, cupboards, change sheets
bring Kanji book
create RFREAs/mapping

Cook fish fillet
Continue clean-up
Cut-out workout plan

Get student's license for driving



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July 2012


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